You might remember a couple of weeks ago, I wrote about stopping to help a guy with a flat tire. I didn’t know his name then, but I do now. Greg.

We ran into each other again at a coffee shop last week. It wasn’t planned. He was sitting at a table, scribbling something in a notebook, and I was grabbing coffee to go. I could’ve just said a polite hello and left it at that. But I didn’t. I ended up inviting him to come work out in the basement gym with me and Jeff.

Yesterday, he showed up.

I don’t know what I expected—maybe someone I’d have to talk into it, who’d need coaxing just to pick up a dumbbell. But Greg walked in with his chest out, bouncing on his toes like he was about to win gold at the Olympics. I should’ve been glad. I wasn’t.

Something about it annoyed me—how eager he was, how much he seemed like he had something to prove. I kept my thoughts to myself and threw myself into the role of “coach,” barking out sets and reps, making sure he knew how serious I was about discipline.

By the time Jeff stepped in to balance me out, I could already tell I was overdoing it. Jeff’s approach was the opposite—encouragement, compliments, too much easygoing praise. And as much as I wanted to point that out, I couldn’t, because he was right too. Greg didn’t need a drill sergeant or a cheerleader. He just needed someone to guide him without pushing him too far in either direction.

I’ve been thinking about that since. About how quick I was to go too hard, too fast, as if I needed to remind everyone—including myself—that I know what I’m doing. It’s a funny thing: the harder I tried to be the strong, capable leader I keep telling myself I am, the more it felt like I was playing a part. Like I was performing for an audience that wasn’t even there.

And maybe that’s why Greg’s eagerness got under my skin. He wasn’t trying to hide anything. He showed up as he was—exuberant, nervous, ready to give it everything he had. I’m not sure I know how to do that anymore, but watching him made me wonder if I should try.

At the end of the workout, Greg asked about the gym—about the community Jeff and I keep talking about. He asked what the next step is, and Jeff and I stumbled through the answer. We don’t know yet. Not really. But Greg said he’d come back anyway.

Maybe that’s the next step. Just showing up.

~ Matthew 🌳